17/02/24
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-jackie
Edited 05/05/24
After a tragedy in Mount Derby High, Wisconsin; this is all the information I've been able to gather.
Rest in peace to Damian Haglund,
and the best for mental recovery for all those involved.
Mount Horeb is a small village 20-25 miles (32-40km) west of capital city Madison; home to about 7600 people. The MHASD (Mount Horeb Area School District) is a k12 (kindergarten 'til grade 12) school district, consisting of 2 kindergartens, a primary center (grades 1 & 2), an intermediate center (grades 3, 4 & 5), a middle school (grades 6, 7 & 8) and a high school (grades 9, 10, 11 & 12).
Damian Haglund was the 'perpetrator' of the Mount Derby High shooting, of which came zero deaths besides his own.
Any other information available at the moment has not had a time specified.
For personal accounts and viewpoints of the event, read AP News's article.
Haglund's personal website, Character AI account, Youtube channel, X (Twitter) account, TikTok account and Gmail: @FritzscheLetvan.
Damian Haglund was a 14 year old, male, 8th-grade student of Mount Horeb Middle School.
He had a code name for the shooting, which was supposed to be carried out on May 1st (likely being a reference to Zero Day), 'NVK'. Which stood for 'Nationale Volks Kampfendersocialismus', which is German for 'National People's Struggle for Socialism'. He referenced this on his website, twice.
From a tweet he made, we hear him speak about harassment he'd been experiencing in school for liking the movie Elephant (2003). Though, from his online activity, we can see that he often struggled with feeling alone, both with having no hope romantically ('and I'll never get to have this moment with someone, I know that I am different, and unsuitable, yet I am afraid to tell the society.' -'Elephant' page) and feeling different to others ('I don't feel bullied when I'm at school, but when I'm there I feel so..out of place, left out.' -'Popularity' page). Throughout his activity, we can see that despite showing anger and dislike to those around him, he still was able to feel sympathy ('Last night I watched a 9/11 phone call video, I'll be honest it drove me to tears, haven't cried in a while, maybe I just avoid tragic stuff. RIP Kevin Cosgrove.' -'Popularity' page). Feel free, as the reader, to look through his social media and come to a judgement of your own.
Sources: The Mirror, Daily Mail, AP news and Abc7 Chicago.
Once again, I hope for the best for everyone involved and I don't mean for any of this to come off as insensitive.
-Finley
24/03/24
Preface: Whoof, it's been a while hasn't it? Well don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from! Me and Charlie are both very alive, but I have an attention span & consistent hobbies so I'm still on here regularly if you ever wanna hmu..
It's one thing to take interest in Columbine, but these people, man...
And I rated their guns!WHat I mean when I say 'Columbiner' (or the people that try to copy them) is people who (seemingly) purposefully like all the same things as them & act as douchey / edgy. I am not referring to actual murderers, that's something else entirely.
And it might be controversial for me to say they were edgy, but despite their actions: you have to admit some of the stuff Eric Harris said seemed very much more like "Ooh, Nazi bad, that's cool!" rather than actually being anti-semetic - especially considering Dylan was Jewish.
Let me craft a perfect example of a Columbiner edgelord for you:
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with happening to like similar things to them! I like Rammstein, Nine Inch Nails, DOOM - but I don't go around talking about how I wish I was the girl from the 'Kidnapping' tape.
Also, dressing like them? Before I was aware of Columbine, I thought it'd be cool for me to wear a trench coat w/ my KoRn shirt, black jeans, boots and belt. At least that was unintentional.
+ It's unfair to stigmatise something as practical as a trench coat. Mine's thin but can trap heat when necessary, waterproof and also I just like the slightly professional look to it. Doesn't make me a shooter!
On the note of interests, I find it's very common that these people don't speak about interests beyond those that they share w/ Harris & Klebold. Like...You enjoy KMFDM, Rammstein, Marylin Manson, NIN, DOOM, NBK, Guns, you hate school; okay, anything else? Because all I'm seeing is low-budget Columbine massacre perpetrator-copycat and obssessed weirdo, yaknow. Please, show interest in something besides shootings, I beg of you!
That's mostly it, just be a person please.
-Finley
04/02/24
I don't like 'xenogenders', or 'xenoids' & especially self-dxing
I'd like to say one thing: if you like this stuff, good for you. You do you. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to dislike or criticise it, I still have that right. And you can criticise me too, it's totally cool, the world's about different views so go for it.
I think xenogender are the best of the lot, because it's based off of something real. But it's not like a personality label or something - gender is your sex.
People are transgender because of a mental illness, which makes them hate the characteristics of their sex, so they feel the need to transition towards the other sex. Like this is just stupid, blaming your self-diagnosed neurodivergence and saying that means you don't 'understand' gender - you don't need to understand jack shit, it's penis or vagina, like bro.
Then you have 'xenoids', what even is this?
At least the xenogender thing was based off something real - gender. What on Earth do you mean you identify as a computer? See, at least with the xenogender thing you had the excuse of 'it's how my gender feels', but no you're saying you identify as computercoric or whatever. That's str8 delusion, I swear. It makes literally 0 sense.
If you didn't know, self-dxing is self-diagnosing, it's just a shortened version used by people who spend too much time online (i.e. me).
Now, this is definitely more controversial, and for good reason too: this is a much more complex issue.
My view on it is simple: you're allowed to suspect you have an issue and may be able to able to link any issues you have to a disorder; but you shouldn't say you have that disorder, rather that you suspect you have that disorder.
I know a lot of people a pro-self-dxing, but I'm against it, why? Because a lot of people (especially mentally ill people) have a different understanding of themselves and how they feel than what is true. That doesn't mean that anyone that suspects they have a disorder is suddenly incorrect, and then any research or introspection-y stuff you do is just wrong, it means it's best to see a professional who can look at you and tell ya what's really wrong with less bias 'n' shit, since that's their job. And if a professional refuses to diagnos you with something because they believe you don't have a disorder, d'ya really think it's worth going to 5 other psychologists to find someone who is willing to diagnose you with something? (Yes, I've seen that happen before.)
Like, either figure out what other problem you may have & that you've been getting wrong, or just stop so desperately trying to be ill? What is that whole thing about? Why does everyone have Munchausen's syndrome?
This is quite the tangent, but Choco Muffin's self-dxed herself with AuDHD (Autism + ADHD) in a poor attempt to justify her actions, and basically get sympathy bait. She says that caffeine has the opposite affect on her, and then continues to send me (now deleted) messages saying that she wants to 'start up her caffeine addiction again' and about how she 'mixed espresso, red bull and monster' - which is just fucking gross, I don't care how much you love caffeine bro. And the whole 'caffeine has the opposite affect on people with ADHD!' is not even true for loads of people with ADHD! [Here's a study released in 2022, which comes to the conclusion: 'Caffeine consumption was not associated with ADHD symptom severity and thus not likely to represent self-medication.']
And what I find really funny is, even though there's chance I might have autism, she doesn't apply the standards that she applies to herself onto me (i.e. she's way more lenient on herself) which is hilariously hyprocitical.
Overall, uhhh, don't self diagnose, pretty please?
-Finley
22/02/24
This is definitely a different style to my established style of massive 1000 word essays, but oh well!
So, a comprehensive list of things me and Finley have to do:
There's definitely more, but here are some burning things on my mind... thanks!!
- Charlie
20/02/24
I listen to (a lot of) KoЯn, SlipKnot, RAMMSTEIN, NIИ and some songs off other Nu Metal Bands (+ Nirvana). Even though that music is called Nu Metal and Industrial Metal, some don't consider it metal, but for the sake of my sanity (and the fact that I do listen to some 'real' metal) I'll still be calling it metal.
So, I should explain why I like it, shouldn't I? Well let me bullet point it for your negative attention span. The reasons I like heavy music are because:
So, while the first two make sense, I should probably elaborate on the third. The reason I say this is because of the music that I personally listen to. Bands like KoЯn venture down their lives and express how they've felt at their most vulnerable and pained - Jonathan Davis being when he was sexually assaulted as a child. NIИ also go into the real struggle of not understanding who you are or what you feel - a good example of this being in Hurt, where he talks about troubles with self-harm and his collapsing relationships with others.
And while you could argue that many other genres of music (like some microgenres of Electronic Music) go into darker themes, at that point it's about personal preference. Sure, breakcore songs may have screaming that could really deeply express how you feel, but wouldn't a more personal lyric like 'As I waste away, In this hell I made, I sit and contemplate my actions, Helpless thoughts, infection's taking hold' really resonate with you more?
If not, that's cool, like what you like! But I dislike the assumption that any music that isn't mainstream rap, pop or hip-hop automatically is just pure edgelord material; instead of just understanding it as a different means of self-expression.
It was the 19th when I wrote all of that^, now it's the 20th. I was talking to Charlie in school about music, and he was saying that he actually likes the opposite of what I like vocally: he likes vocals that sound machine-like. And after that, you know, it really just made me think about how many different inerpertations of music you can have. One thing that someone see as emotive and depressive, someone else can see as vague and robotic (for us, the end bit of Perfect Drug). So really, the reason I like aggressive music is because of the way I ineterpret it; it's a means to express parts of me that other things can't.
Yeah that's really all, catch you all later
-Finley
19/02/24
[Disclaimer: Armchair Psychology at work, this is merely speculation and not 100% fact. In no way do I have the intention of idolising or condoning the actions of the Columbine shooters.]
Anyone who has looked into the Columbine Massacre or the perpetrators of the attack have probably heard the following conclusion: "Eric was a clinical psychopath and the mastermind, Dylan was a follower and depressive."
Whilst I certainly agree that both of the pair were fucked in the head to a certain (no, pretty severe) degree - I wouldn't say Eric was a psychopath, or that the "Leader-Follower" dynamic was very strong.
It is a known fact that both of the shooters were generally throughout their lives, social outcasts. Let's start with Eric: Struggled socially, very specific interests that seemingly dominated his life (DOOM, certain music genres and probably more), low empathy, and struggling to see things from the perspective of others (self-centred point of view). All these characteristics point towards Eric having Autism - obviously you can't diagnose someone with a neurological condition 26 years after their death, but personally I believe that Eric was somewhere on the spectrum.
A common trait within people on the Autism Spectrum is struggling to identify what specifically you are feeling and why, as if you're feelings are blurred. Essentially, you're left with a distressing ball of "badness" in your chest (badness refering to a mixture of negative emotion that you can't rid because you can't identify the cause or specific feeling itself.)
Now, enter violence: the vast majority of human beings find violence to be a relief from emotional turmoil - if it weren't there wouldn't be so many rage rooms dotted around the globe, for example. Being destructive is an easy way to get something off your chest, its our nature, yet it isn't a permanent solution.
I believe Eric used violence and violent media as an attempt to rid himself of what he was feeling without having to understand the "What" and the "Why" - he only needed to understand the "How". Catharsis. This explains why he was so into media such as Doom + Generally Aggressive Music Genres (forgive me, I'm not an expert in music genres.) This also explains why Eric chose to stop taking his Luvox, to "feel the rage" more, I assume this means to get the bad feelings off his chest.He was prescribed Luvox to try tone down his aggression: either the limiting of the relief brought from violent media made him feel worse overall (therefore he stopped taking it), or the aggression an irritability as a potential side effect from taking Luvox added more burden onto the negative feeling (therfore he stopped taking it).
Am I saying that banning all violent media is the solution? No, it's definitely not. A quick whim solution without addressing the "What" and "Why" (Reasons for issue) won't help with anything - people will find alternatives. I might make a blog post soon on video games and violence, actually.
Let's talk about Dylan now: again - I suspect he was too on the Autism Spectrum. Student accounts state that he was often seen with greasy hair and wore the same AOL T-Shirt to school everyday, he also has a long history of extreme shyness and difficulty bonding with his peers. Again, you can't diagnose a dead person with a condition so there's not much point in explaining further, just know that I assume he also had Autism. Dylan had (presumably) already been struggling with depressive thoughts before he met Eric.
The moment Eric and Dylan became friends, is the point where I think nothing but forcefully separating them could've stopped what was to come. Imagine struggling with a difficult feelings most of your life and being unable to shake them - your new friend comes along with this fun and effective solution to all your problems (in this case, violent media and general thrills). The two of you have formed an unstoppable bond, you're having a great time: then you get arrested and made to do community service. God you're pissed. If this "small" act of fun was enough to be punished by society, society's shit - why not take it one step further then? People clearly don't want you to feel better, they're clearly all shit. Why not try rid as many off the earth as possible? Your friend supports the idea, and is willing to gather the weapons and projectile arsenal for this "plan". The plan seems foolproof. I think we all know what happened after this point.
From my perspective, their friendship was genuine and both parties cared about each other. I don't believe Eric was a psychopath considering how he (apppeared) to treat Dylan as an equal and seemed to care about his friends - even beginning to cry during one of the basement tapes after talking about how he wishes he could go back to Michigan to see some old friends before the attack was carried out. The issue with Eric and Dylan's friendship was that they were fuelling each other, encouraging this cathartic coping mechanism of violence onto each other to soothe their emotional issues. The more this fuelling happened, the more both of them lost grip on the true consequences of their actions: yes, they understood what consequences would come with their future actions and didn't want anyone else to take the blame for their actions - but it didn't register with them deeply enough to prevent what they would go on to do.
In conclusion: both Eric and Dylan's friendship towards each other were genuine, their downfall was their incessant fuelling of each other's ways of coping through inappropriate means. There was no greater or lesser evil between the pair, both were fundamently flawed in terms of their psyche and methods of catharsis.
Are they entirely to blame for what happened? The literal actions that occured, yes - however what drove them to the point of these means was likely a long build up of the actions of others over time.
Should they be forgiven? That depends on what you think, I can't speak for everyone.
Useful Links: Basement Tape Transcripts, Eric's Journal, Dylan's Journal, AColumbinesite (good resource)
- Charlie
18/02/24
If you're wondering what I'm about to yap about now, it's the strengths and weaknesses of the weapons chosen by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold! How fun.
Ah, a semi-automatic handgun? Interesting choice I musn't lie - at least it looks cool. Some strengths are that the gun's dirt cheap, lightweight (1.23kg to 1.4kg), it has an rpm of 1000, and has a good blowback (explanation). Some weaknesses are its firing range (50 metres) and it has a tendency to misfire or jam (while getting through five rounds?!) But, despite that, it's a solid choice: 8/10.
His next choice, a double-barrel shotgun? I'm less keen, but we'll see if my opinion changes! So, some strengths are it's pretty lightweight (3kg to 3.4kg), it's affordable, double-barelled, and it's 12 gauge. Weaknesses are that the shells are heavy (so if you use it a lot -> need to reload -> carry more ammo), it's pretty damn old and has a long barrel (like 71cm). I'd say, that for a mass murder, it's an interesting choice. But it isn't the worst, decently practical: 7/10.
Overall, Dylan's gun choices are a 7.5/10.
Promising - a carbine rifle, exactly what would've been my choice! Some strengths of this gun are its barrel isn't too long (42cm -> it's easier to control for a beginner), it's pretty lightweight (2.6kg) and its bullets (which are 9×19mm Parabellum) are some of the cheapest on the market. Some of its weaknesses are that its trigger requires a long pull and Hi-Point guns a known for being cheap (this entire thread). Overall, would be a solid choice if it weren't for the quality, but that's understandable: 8/10
His next choice of gun is a shotgun - again. Oh whatever, I can't act like I've committed mass murder, so we'll give it a chance. Some of its strengths are it's 12 gague, it's pump action (semi-automatic) so it has the fastest reloading time out of shotguns and it has great firing distance (150m!). Some weaknesses are that the capacity is somewhat limited, the ammo's heavy (yes, this again), it's old (AGAIN) and (because it's a shotgun) it has pretty strong recoil. Overall, understandable if you have specific tagrets in mind, but beyond that, eh: 7/10.
Overall, Eric's gun choices are a 7.5/10.
Well I'll just say, I think the combo of a Intratec TEC-DC9 and a Savage-Springfield 67H would be like a 9/10, so do with that what you will!
-Finley
17/02/24
I know that sounds insane, but I really like thinking about this. So let's go, our main branches of guns are:
basically, is the ammo pracitcal?
Through this round of elimination, we get rid of: handheld guns and shotguns. Why, you may ask? Let me explain!
I removed handheld guns for the sole reason that they can't hold many bullets. Sure, they're practically small, but if you were want to kill / hurt alot of people, you'd struggle with constantly reloading.
I removed shotguns for a similar reason. Shotguns mostly use shells, and while shells are definitely powerful, you would lose a lot of killing time constantly shoving shells into barrels.
basically, is the gun easy to hide / transport?
So, obviously I'm eliminating machine guns and submachine guns, both of these because of their weights (e.g., a M240 machine gun weighing 12.5 kg and a Thompson submachine gun weighing ~10.5kg) making them insane to carry around. And their lengths (a M240 machine gun being ~127 cm and a Thompson submachine gun being between 81cm to 85cm) making them difficult to hide, if you were wanting to do your shooting without anyone else knowing until it's too late.
(Also, I get me using examples might be unfair, but it's much harder to generalise sub-machine and machine guns, so I wanted to use proper statistics.)
for this one, it's up to you, really
Now, if you want accuracy, and are willing to sacrifice hiding and transporting points, go for an assault rifle! They're heavy duty, but also accurate (if you're used to long barrels) especially over long distances.
I think your best shot is probably a carbine. Why? Here's why:
-Finley
